Before You Pack Your Bags: 9 Money Conversations to Have Before Moving In Together

With rent prices in Lagos and Abuja beginning to feel like punishment for simply existing, shared living is quickly becoming less of a choice and more of a survival strategy. Whether it’s your romantic partner, best friend, sibling, or another family trying to split costs, co-living can offer a softer financial landing.

But here’s the truth nobody likes to post on social media: living together will either save you money or cost you your peace of mind. There’s barely any middle ground.

One minute, you’re saying, “Guy, let’s split rent,” and the next, you’re arguing over fuel, visitors, chores, shared bills, and why the food in the fridge somehow keeps reducing without explanation. Most of these problems don’t appear overnight, and they rarely start because people are wicked. They start because expectations were never discussed.

When you share a space, you’re also sharing a financial ecosystem. If ground rules are not clear before the bags come in, you’re basically scheduling premium tears.

Before you share a key, here are nine non-negotiable conversations to have if you want to protect both your relationship and your wallet.

1. The Rent Formula: How Are We Splitting the Base Rent?

The bottom line: Pick a split formula on purpose; don't default to 50-50 and resent it later.

Historically, the default for housemates or couples has been a clean 50-50 split. But in Nigeria's modern professional space, that simple math doesn't always make sense.

Maybe you work a fixed-pay corporate job in Lagos while your flatmate earns in US dollars as a remote tech worker. If one person makes significantly more, a strict 50-50 split can leave the lower earner completely dry while the higher earner keeps building a portfolio. Sit down and choose a formula that works for everyone. You have three main options:

• The Equal Split: best when everyone earns a similar income and gets equal space.
• The Proportional Split: you split rent based on earnings. If Partner A makes 60% of the household income, they pay 60% of the rent.
• The Space-Based Split: if one person gets the master bedroom with the balcony and walk-in closet while the other gets the small room, the master occupant pays a larger share.

2. The Dreaded “Total Package”: Agency, Agreement and Caution Fees

The bottom line: The advertised rent is never the real price, so budget for 130%+ and protect your caution fee from day one.

If you've ever gone house hunting in Lagos or Abuja, you know the landlord's advertised rent is never the actual price. By the time the agent adds 10% commission, the lawyer adds another 10% for the tenancy agreement, and the landlord tacks on a caution fee, your move-in package can easily jump to 130–135% of the annual rent.

So don't just talk about the rent; talk about how you'll generate that extra upfront capital together. And pay close attention to the caution fee. It's supposed to be a refundable security deposit, but in reality many landlords treat it as bonus income and invent reasons to keep it when you move out.

Insider tip: On move-in day, take clear, dated photos and videos of every crack, broken tile and leaking fixture in the house. Email them to the landlord or agent the same day. That record is your shield. When you move out, it's bulletproof evidence to demand your caution fee back.

3. The Band A Power Trap: Tokens, Tariffs and Check Meters

The bottom line: If one of you works from home and the other doesn't, a flat power-bill split isn't fair, so meter it.

Electricity is no longer a casual expense. If your apartment is on a Band A feeder, you're guaranteed 20+ hours of light daily, but you pay premium tariffs, typically around ₦160–₦230 per kilowatt-hour depending on your DisCo (as of mid-2026). For an average home running a fridge, fans and a few appliances, monthly prepaid tokens can easily climb past ₦50,000.

This is where lifestyle differences cause friction. If you commute to an office every morning but your flatmate works from home running a high-capacity AC all day, a flat 50-50 power split isn't fair. The fix many shared apartments now use is a check meter for each room: a device that tracks the exact electricity used inside that specific room, isolating its sockets and lights. It's the mathematically fair solution for housemates who want to pay for exactly what they consume.

The catch: if two people share one room (a couple, or siblings in a single bedroom), a check meter can't split it. There, you'll still need to agree to adjust contributions based on individual usage and schedules.

4. The Generator Question: Who Fuels the Backup Power?

The bottom line: Decide who funds the fuel when one person's heavy usage drains the shared power, before it becomes a fight.

Because the grid can still be unpredictable, you'll likely lean on a generator or inverter, and fuelling it is a daily operating cost that has climbed hard. As of mid-2026, petrol runs roughly ₦1,000–₦1,500 per litre depending on your state, and diesel sits around ₦1,300–₦1,500 per litre. (These prices fluctuate constantly, so treat them as a guide, not gospel).

Take a real lesson from a couple in Lagos: one partner loved marathon gaming sessions that consistently drained the household inverter. Because the inverter was always flat, they had to run the generator and burn fuel every two days. The other partner refused to chip in, saying, “I didn't drain the inverter.” To avoid that argument, agree upfront on:

• Who funds the generator when a specific heavy-use appliance (gaming console, water heater) drains the shared power system.
• How routine generator servicing and fuel top-ups will be split.

5. Black Tax and Family Support Boundaries

The bottom line: Your housemate's family obligations are now your household's business, so talk about them with empathy, not judgment.

Let's be real: black tax is an active part of our lives. Many young Nigerians are the primary financial pillar for their extended family. If you're cohabiting, your housemate's or partner's commitments to their family directly affect your domestic stability. If one person sends 40% of their income home each month, they may struggle to cover utilities or save for next year's rent.

This conversation needs empathy, not judgment. Talk openly about your family obligations, then protect the household with the Allowance Cap Strategy: set a strict, non-negotiable monthly budget for family support. Once that month's allowance is exhausted, requests wait until next month. It shields your shared balance sheet from sudden drains.

6. Daily Running Costs: Groceries, Gas and Market Runs

The bottom line: Rent is yearly; feeding and fueling the kitchen is daily, so build one transparent system for the small stuff.

Rent is a yearly expense, but feeding and running the house happens every single day, and food inflation means prices change weekly. You need a clear system for daily survival:

• The Food Fund: create a shared market fund. Each person contributes a set amount at the start of the month for bulk groceries, and one person handles the market run.
• Cooking gas (LPG): this is a recurring kitchen cost, not a one-off. As of mid-2026, refilling a standard 12.5kg cylinder costs about ₦20,000–₦22,000, and a busy household empties one faster than you'd think. Agree who tops it up and how it's split; ideally fold it straight into the food fund so nobody is caught buying gas with their last ₦20k.
• The Little Things: who buys toilet paper, dishwashing liquid, and pays the weekly cleaner? Name it now.
• One shared tracker: ditch the clunky spreadsheets and awkward text reminders. Log shared costs in one place. A tool like Kehbar tallies who paid for gas, the cleaner or toiletries and automatically works out who owes what, so the balance stays transparent.

7. The Emergency House Repair Fund

The bottom line: Agree a repair limit now so a burst pipe doesn't turn into a domestic row.

What happens when the kitchen pipe bursts or the compound's pumping machine packs up and there's no running water? In Nigeria, getting a landlord to fix structural issues quickly can be an extreme sport, and tenants often pay out of pocket and then try (and usually fail) to deduct it from future rent.

Before an emergency happens, agree on a limit. Any repair under, say, ₦20,000 comes out of a shared emergency kitty; anything above triggers an immediate household meeting on how to fund it while you chase the landlord. That keeps the water running and stops minor faults from becoming major fights.

8. Rent Renewal Is Not a Surprise: Save for It Monthly

The bottom line: Treat next year's rent as a monthly bill, not a Month-11 panic.

One of the biggest mistakes co-living Nigerians make is celebrating after paying the first year's rent, then ignoring the future. Twelve months pass incredibly fast. Because of inflation and housing demand, rents in prime areas of Lagos and Abuja have been rising by roughly 15–20% a year (as of mid-2026), so a hike notice at the end of your cycle is likely.

Don't wait until Month 11 to start looking for millions of naira. Take your annual rent, add a 15% buffer for inflation, divide by 12, and save that amount every month. Rather than everyone saving alone and hoping for discipline, save together. Collaborative tools make this easier: a shared Pool lets cohabitants contribute to one digital vault for next year's rent or repairs, while a digitised Ajo (rotational thrift) helps each person build up their share in turn. Automate it, and the renewal capital is locked away long before the landlord issues a demand notice.

9. Financial Habits and an Exit Strategy

The bottom line: Agree, on paper, what happens if someone needs to leave before the lease ends. That's maturity, not bad energy.

Finally, talk about your general savings philosophies and what happens if things don't work out. You might have completely different risk appetites: one of you investment-focused (mutual funds, dollar assets, land), the other risk-averse and happiest with cash in savings. You don't need identical styles, but you must be aligned on basic financial security.

And now the most awkward but essential talk: the exit strategy. Relationships end, friends fall out, relatives get transferred, sibling dynamics change. Agree in advance:

• How many months' notice must someone give before moving out?
• Are they responsible for finding a replacement flatmate to take over their share
• How will their portion of the caution fee be paid back?

A clear exit protocol isn't “negative energy.” It's maturity. It means that even if the living situation ends, everyone leaves with their dignity and their finances intact.

The Bottom Line

Co-living in today's economy is one of the most practical ways to build financial stability. It gives you room to breathe, save and invest in yourself. But a beautiful shared home is built on a foundation of awkward, honest conversations. Don't wait until the bills pile up. Sit down with your prospective cohabitant today, buy some drinks, set up your shared expense plan, and get these nine conversations out of the way. Your future self will thank you.

Written byKehbar Team